Slave - Personal Experiences - BenHur
BEN HUR'S EXPERIENCE OF BEING A SLAVE
Many guys interested in BDSM will wonder what it means, to be a slave in a modern times, and how you get there. I will tell here about my experiences in this field, hoping that this will help others to find there way in the scene, and to find out what matches their desires and phantasies best. To start with, I present above a big poster. It might by its explicitness be a bit confronting, regarding what the pics show and the text states, but it makes immediately clear what to me (as for most of my fellows will be the case) is essential for slavery in an SM-context: that it is sexual in the first place, which automatically means that your Master, and your Master alone, decides about the fulfillment of your sexual urges, in whatever way.
And as a slave mostly lacks sexual self-control - at least I do - this does imply that slaves, when not in sexual use, are always to be kept securely belted, in principle 24/7/365, so (if by any means possible in a practical way) also in daily life and thus even when going to work. For that reason a good fitting stainless steel chastity belt, especially designed to be worn more or less permanently and thus invisible underneath standard clothes - I've written elsewhere in this wipipedia about my experiences with it - to my opinion is the most important instrument of sexual discipline available for Masters to keep their slaves horny and thus obedient. I myself am safely locked up in mine - the socalled Carrara 2.0 shown in this poster - during my normal, so to say non-SM-life all the time indeed. I can wear my rather heavy chastity belt, that prevents me from unauthorised wanking and cumming, that is very secure because of its special built-in safety-lock and of which I, because of the narrow fit around my hips can't free myself without help of the keys, without anybody ever discovering that I am wearing it.
Underneath I present my second life as a slave by the way of a kind of other posters showing me with appropriate comments and commands
This page I will extend in the forthcoming days in stages, just starting now, please give me time to continue***
I am a slave
I am a slave. And it is indeed crucial to find the courage to say this to myself: I am a slave. I've not always been one, but my deep-rooted desire to become a slave did exist already since my late teens. It has taken some time since till I got experienced enough in the SM-scene as a bottom to find the courage to get myself turned from a standard sub into a real slave. And, of course, it did take some time after that to find the right dominant as a Master to own me.
To make clear what I mean: to my opinion there is a big difference between a bottom and a slave, like there exists between a Top and a Master. A bottom is just acting in a submissive role during a sexual SM-play within a limited amount of time, serving a Top sexually with the possibility to end all when he gets bored of it. A slave on the other hand is not acting temporarily as a submissive in a state of sexual arousal, but is feeling himself a slave all the time, regarding himself to be really the propriety of his Master. Being a slave is not just an issue of external behaviour, but of an internal mindset. Being a slave is the marrow of your personality. That's the reason, why it's crucial for your self-defenition to say what I did say at the start: I am a slave.
In this respect I agree with the difference made between a submissive and a slave made in this article: http://www.teramis.com/kink/subvslave.htm, linked to the page 'slave' in the Wikipedia: "A submissive renews the choice to submit every time a demand is levied upon him. A slave makes a one-time choice to submit, up front, and thereafter it is incumbent upon him to obey".
Limits of slavery
Also the further explanation by the author of this article contains three essential points, I want to repeat here, because they make the crucial contrast between sub and slave clear, and what it means to become the latter. I summarize them here in (partly) my own words.
1. A committance to slavery is a committance to absolute obedience in case of given orders, regardless of what the slave himself thinks of it, of what he wants himself or of how he feels himself at the moment.
2. A slave gives himself over to the control of his Master as completely as is humanly possible. This means that there is actually a chattel property context to the relationship; the slave becomes literally (by mutual agreement) the property of the Owner. In an extreme interpretation this even may mean that the slave can be sold by a Master to another.
3. A slave cannot say "No" without completely abrogating the very basis of the Master/slave agreement. In contrast tot the"No" of a sub, the "No" of a slave is a fundamental deal-breaker. There is no room for him to protest and resolve a conflict by way of negotatiation as there is for an employee; a refusal to obedience for a slave is mutiny, which the Master has the right to punish in the way He likes. Slavery cannot function if the exclusive command authority of the Master is questioned.
I will just add to that for a realistic form of SM-slavery three modern-time conditions:
1. considering certain physical/moral/mental limits, which often will be stated in a slave-contract, something that, to avoid disussions between Master and slave about the rights (and obligations) of the former and the obligations (and rights) of the latter is very advisable. Avoiding health-damage is an important point.
2. considering certain practical limits, dependend on the professional and social obligations of the slave in normal daily life, especially when not living in. Those limits may concern the hours of availability (a slave's job often will take him during office hours outdoors), the openly external visibality of the slave's slavery (when he's a banker he presumably will be less easy able to show a high studded leather slave-collar with a dog-tag plus big D-ring for attaching the leash in front and a heavy padlock in the neck above his fine suit, than when he's a punk band musician in an artistic environment wearing outworn jeans and an old t-shirt), and the way both Master and slave will behave when interacting in the presence of others outside the SM-community (bootlicking as the automatical form of saluting the former by the latter might not be as clear as noon at a birth-day party when all your grandparents are present).
3. considering certain temporal limits. Again: be realistic! How unromantic the thought may sound, and completely square to the dreams of 'real slavery' and the inborn mindset from the side of the slave (dreams I do share too!): there must always - otherwise it would be an illegal deprivation of liberty - for the slave exist the possibility to end the relationship as such. Which, indeed, than means the end - contrary to submissiveness, which is intended for a very limited period and limited role beforehand. This may also set a limit to the real possibility for an Owner to sell His slave to another Master: if there's no klick between both, the relationship will soon come to an end, or beter: not even ever really start to function.
But when those limits are considered, indeed the essential demand for a new slave to become a real slave is contained by just one single word: OBEY!
Slave phantasies during my youth
Some men are born slaves, and I think I am one. Being a born slave in most cases will mean, that you already from your (early) youth have had - as I did - phantasies of being a slave. Born slaves will have get triggered at a young age for the first time when they came across descriptions (and pictures) of slavery in (youth) novels or their history schoolbooks, or - which may be even more stimulating - by some scenes in a feature film they have seen, whether it be in the cinema or on television.
In my case the first stimuli, still in a completely pre-sexual context, came from a Dutch youth magazine with a popular-scientific content in the years around 1970 my school had subscribed to, when I was some nine years old. The magazine was accustomed to publish famous specimen of world-literature in the serial form of comics, spread over several numbers. In those years accidentally Ben Hur of Lewis Wallace and Les Miserables of Victor Hugo were among them, the former telling the story of a young jewish aristocrate living in the first century A.D. who because of a supposed attack on the Roman governor of Jerusalem is condemned to the galleys, the latter about a poor young man living in early-ninenteenth-century France, who because of stealing a bread ends up in heavy irons as a convict in comparable semi-slavery circumstances. It were the ponderous fetters and the naked sweating bodies, toiling under the thread of the lash while being chained to the oars, that made me excited, and did provoke my phantasies about being in their place.
A bit later, when I was a teenager, reading some of the western-novels of Karl May did arouse my now dominant bondage-phantasies again, while those few stories of May that were laid in the Middle-East partly were even more exciting, exchanging the flexible lasso-ropes of the cowboy for the solid chains of slave-trade and slave-caravans. In 1977 the broadcasting of Roots by Alexander Haley on Dutch television - and a bit later watching the movie-version of Ben Hur from 1959 in a German cinema for the first time - again stimulated my imagination, now adding slave-ships and slave-markets to my mental portfolio, as, again (this time however even more politically incorrect), I started to phantasy about being in the place of the principal hero Kunta Kinte, dragged by a long chain connected to my iron slave-collar to the auction-block. Meanwhile, in (comic) pics, films, stories - and very real on some medieval fair - I came across the phenomenon of the pillory: to me still one of the most exciting kind of bondage stuff existing.
Introduction into the gay SM-scene
As said, during my teens, all still was within a completely pre-sexual context - my sexual coming out only came later. Looking back after so many years, I now will describe those hot scenes, that acted as stimuli for my desire to be a slave myself, as erotic, and my then feelings perhaps as erotic, but during those years themselves I didn't recognise them as such. Of this mental link I only became aware in my early twenties - some may regard this as rather late - when I became a student, and, moving from a small village to a big city, soon came across sex shops selling the leather versions of slave-collars and slave-chains as play articles.
As I, since I was some fifteen year old, also had got excited by motorbikers and other men in a leather outfit (when was twentyeight years old starting to drive a motorbike, and in this context - as a good excuse for the outer world - going to wear a leather jacket and leather jeans myself), I soon also started to visit leather bars, and by that got entangled in the gay SM-scene, of which I have been part since. My coming out as an homosexual thus more or less did synchronize with my first real SM-experiences. After more than a decade, in the mid-nineteen-nineties, a now for me very important aspect was added, that even has become more popular in the gay SM-scene since, developing into a main aspect of many a serious Master-slave relationship: enforced sexual abstinence as the ultimate means of control and BDSM-enslavement, which made me end up in wearing a heavy stainless steel chastity belt.