How to make love to a car
How to Make Love to a Car or Other Vehicle
This is a relatively uncommon fetish. However, there are a few men in the UK that will admit to it, or share it. The descriptions below are partly intended to answer questions that are usually fired at User:Karnautrahl online in part. His own website network answers other questions.
The techniques can be generalised to trucks, motorbikes, boats and construction vehicles according to taste.
At some point an article detailing conditioning and cognitive influences surrounding fetish acquisition may turn up. Check the bottom of this article for an amateur writeup on "why".
How do you make love to a car? A simple manual describing a rare fetish for those that ask this question.
1. The tailpipe isn't the only option! If it interests you, get hold of a silicon sleeve or some other masturbation tool to make life easier on your tool. Note: a possible sleeve is a Hand Job Stroker by Calexotics, obtainable from CloneZone (wank toys dept). Typically a rubber, silicon or similar sheath can also be used elsewhere, especially for cut gentlemen.
2. For those who enjoy the body of a car, licking, kissing, caressing and the normal actions of foreplay work well.
3. Lying on bodywork, with practice can be enjoyable, hot or cold. Key point is to get a feel for what might dent permanently. Cut guys often get more out of humping when using some form of textured sheath.
4. Manual gearsticks can be fun for those inclined to allow the car to return the favour, just be sure of a smooth entry with a custom walnut, carbon fibre or titanium gearknob. Jaguars with walnut knobs work well for this.
5. Leather interiors on luxory vehicles work rather well for humping. Some vanilla folks enjoy this as an alternative to lady palm and her five fingers. Cleans easy too!
6. For hardcore car lovers (trucks too), oily diffs, engines and tyres are an additional turn on. One guy enjoys being squashed this way, another likes to taste the fluids. Most fluids would be hazardous if swallowed in any quantity however.
7. Finally jacking up to jackoff is safest accomplished with ramps rather than just jacks or axle stands. Especially if you and your 4 wheeled friend are "bouncers". Big wheeled pickups are notorious for this.
8. Privacy is a must except for exhibitionists. Most countries don't like public indecency whether you are fucking a car, man or woman. Stick to a garage or workshop where possible.
9. Mixing fetishes can work with cars when used with imagination and care. Watersports is a common addition for many men as are other variations. Leather bondage can be fun too before, during or after serving the car.
10. Roleplay involving the car is another spice. Solo roleplay requires vivid imagination and the ability to suspend rational thought temporarily (some would say permanently). Two or more involved tends to be easier. Big or luxorious vehicles can be served, small sports cars dominated or switched around. Doesn't always work for me, varies.
11. Roleplay may be a thing for some, but the real thing for me and many is the variety of textures and smells associated with a good looking car. On top of all the other attributes that is. It's worth exploring new aspects of your 4-wheeled lover each time you have a session, as I did today exploring her tyres during other activities. Variety is the spice of life.
12. I haven't mentioned fem/car action purely because being a man, I don't have intimate knowledge of what would really work for a woman in this game. Obviously there is the option of gearknob riding, attachments to replace unsuitable gearknobs and I've seen a bumper rider (dildo attached to towbar). However, like tailpipes are not the only choice for men, I can't believe that penetration by the vehicle is the only choice for women. I hope to see edits adding to this by imaginitive types. I have seen some cool pics of bound women on House of Gord's website where they are attached to vehicles in various ways, however this wasn't quite what I had in mind.
- Muck can be kinky, especially muddy 4x4's or rally cars. However most folks into this don't like bird crap, tree sap and bug squash. Wash these off first. Road salt, mud, dust are often not a problem and for some adds something natural perhaps. Its a mood/taste thing.
- Obsession, never a good thing. If you can't related to a human sexually, emotionally or otherwise AND you have this fetish (or any other), you DO have an issue. It's up to you to address it however. A good fetish can and should be a nice extra dimension to a normal balanced life.
- If you anthropomorphasize your 4 wheeled lover, it's worth remembering that its a fantasy. A fun, sexy fantasy, but a emotional/sexual/mental construct. Despite my own enjoyment, a car isn't actually a person. Except during sex.
- Have some humor. Lots of it. The more outrageous the fetish, the more you'll need. Otherwise, well you'll get all serious and boring which is not play.
- Other vehicles may be of interest, and similar methods work for these too. Motorbikes, commercial trucks, construction vehicles and motorboats spring to mind. Just don't climb in the water with the latter-cold water and sex don't tend to work.
- It's not for most folks, even car enthusiasts. You'll know by now if you found it interesting/horny or not. Some folks try it late in life and enjoy it. Others can't wrap their head around it. Not surprised!!!
- Racing the car-fucking his/her pipe from cold whilst running the engine does work on 4 piped cars, but has hazards. You only ever muck this up once! As Dekhyr Dragon states in his seminal work, "never fuck a car hot! I did....once!.
- Common mistake when encountering this fetish is to believe it's a spoof. It's not. I've a video proving it :-).
- Lying on hot engines is an act requiring caution and knowledge of what stays hottest longest. Know your car, before you try to get to know her too well!
Things You'll Need
- Desire in the first place!!!!
- Vehicle you fancy
- Privacy and warm enough space
- Any sheaths that will help
- Appropriate ramps if needed
- Blankets,carpet,cushions for comfort depending on positions
FAQ In response to recent publicity. Frequently Asked Questions
Q:Will you do a further interview of any kind?
A:No. The piece in the Sun, was going to happen regardless because of someone else's actions (not the Sun's). My privacy would be very badly affected if I appeared on TV or any other media got involved. It's not that important, or really much more than a small curiousity piece for 99.9999% of people and there is certainly no public benefit or education beyond a little psychological curiousity. I can answer that curiousity here and elsewhere online if need be.
Q:Why would you want to fuck a car?
A:Like any fetish, because I find it enjoyable. It's a simple, harmless fetish that does have the added bonus of screwing around with the heads of people who are "too" straight or vanilla for their own good. I get a very sensual pleasure from the various surfaces, smells, tastes and looks of a hot car. There's a thrill in the ride often, and there's often a fair degree of imaginary roleplay at work.
Q:Why don’t you fuck a person instead? You know a living being?
A:Like many forms of assumption this is wrong. You assume I don’t, can’t or won’t have sex with people-or never have. That’s untrue actually.
I’m very lucky, I can enjoy my fetish in addition to more “acceptable” behaviour. I have a real relationship and this does not interfere with it. Of course, one would need a broad mind, reasonable imagination and level headed tolerance to understand this.
A:Life is about biology, reproduction. How can you consider yourself normal if you are fucking a non living thing?
Q:If I thought I could produce kids with a car, then you'd almost have a point. To have kids, its man on woman-fine. So gay couples have to adopt etc. I'm not after that-as is pretty obvious. The biology arguement means little to me on this matter. With 6 billion people on the planet, Darwin would be quite ok with the idea that I'm not contributing to that. As am I. I'm not actually deluded-it's a wank. End of.
Q:I think you are a sad lonely man. What do you say to that?
If I required your good opinion to have self respect I’d be in the shit. Actually I’m in a long term relationship, have a large social circle, many of whom are aware of my “interests” and am far from lonely. There are lonely opinionists out there of course that might fit the bill, but I’m not one of them. I divide my time between socialising with people I give a fuck about, working with people I care about and learning to fix cars. Oh there are days where I’m simply studying as well, and the times when I search the net messing about. Ever heard of projection? This is where a perceived fault in others is actually a fault deep within a person but they project it outwards. I try to look for this when I myself go on the slash, burn and judgement hunt.
Q:I think you are a freak, sicko, weirdo etc.
A:See answer above. Also for comparison, go look for some serious freaks who kill, maim, abuse etc. Come back to me if you can prove I'm as freaky as they are, or as harmful. I've little tolerance for persistant judgement in the face of what people *really* do get up to. Get over it.
Q:Why don't you get cured or change?
A:Why the hell should I? Put another way...what would you have me do? Change who I am because of some opinions or risk bad opinions and be what and who I really want to be? What would you do?
I can live with bad opinions-actually, we all have to. Someone somewhere will think ill of us or something we do or don't do. Just being yourself will offend many religious extremists for example. Now if you want to view sick, check out some of those guys. Q:Do you talk to them before, during or after?
A:Occasionally, but it's partly humor and partly just a little imagination. It's not particularly relevent.
Q:Have you ever considered getting help or that you need help?
A:No. Unlike most armchair shrinks I actually know my basics of simple psychology. Its a hobby. I'm not maladjusted, I'm not socially dysfunctional, I'm occasionally obsessive in my studies and like everyone I get fucked off once in a while. I also study REBT,CBT,have studied NLP and other forms of brief therapy as a keen layman. So if you are qualified, maybe you can add more, however I have consulted professionals when I was younger and know that I'm fine.
Q:So, do you think it's normal to fuck cars? A:Ah, a lovely old chestnut this. The "normal" debate. What is normal, is the stock answer I shall start with. It's normal for me. It's normal for other car fetishists. It's not normal for a hetereosexual vanilla guy, in that it's outside of his range of sexual behaviour. Is normal a value judgement or a judgement of factual circumstance? Think about it. For many, "normal" means permissable, moral even obligatory. For me "normal" actually means harmless in part.
Q:Can you be "cured"? A:Whatever for my dear? If I wished to quit, I suppose with the research I've done, I probably could reduce the interest and focus on new fetishes (replacement doesn't work, but addition does for some). I don't have any need to so I won't. I enjoy my fetish and I have to admit I do enjoy getting up the noses of anyone who is overly straight and tries too hard to object. Perverse I know, but haven't you ever popped a zit, or teased someone who's attitude annoys you?
Q:Is it illegal?
A:In private no. In public you are subject to normal indecency laws. You are harming no-one nor any animals so legislation is unlikely.
Q:Have you ever been caught up someones tailpipe in a carpark or road?
A:Haha..I love that one. No, because I'm more ethical than that. If you lend me your car for sex, or I buy one etc then it's fair game. No permission or in public are not options.
Q:Ever cut yourself or burned yourself. A:Once or twice. A little bit. You never do the same thing again though!
Q:Are you going to produce any more action shots or video? Or more stories? A:Pornography like a video will be available upon private request and at my discretion only. I don't intend to post explicit photos unless I outlay the cost of a bona fide adult site. I've worked hard on these websites and do not wish to lose them due to TOS about nude photos. Stories, I write only rarely and often in an emotional rush. I may put up further stories but each page has to be handcrafted as I do not possess all the skills needed to turn this template into a data driven site. Yet. When I do, if I do, then contributions will be welcome.
Q:Why'd you put that in the Sun? Are you crazy?
A:Events outside my control got the Sun involved. I simply gave an interview in the end. You're right, I'd be crazy to set out for worldwide publicity. It IS a private thing (relatively). As to the latter, I think humanity is pretty crazy. So I'm not that crazy in comparison.
Q:Why did you put the manual up if its private then?
A:There is an online community of like minded folks-it's partly for them. Also, I used to meet occasionally with folks who wanted to watch. The first question in such an arrangement was how. The manual answers that.
Q:In the Sun you state that tasting fluids is going too far, yet surely fucking your car is going too far?
A:Tasting fluids is likely hazardous to ones health-thats going too far. As is burning your cock on the pipe or engine. I doubt the world will end because of another fetish, so no, screwing my car is my choice.
Q:Aren't you the weirdo in the lingerie up the Range rover that's online?
A:Nope, never been into lingerie or being out in public like that. Anyway, just checkout the Sun photo. It's someone else. I don't know him either. I've never really mixed fetishes. It IS a study in contrasts.
Q:What cars do it for you the most?
A:Want to be here all day? Well, a generic overview then. Sports cars, modified cars-including many "chav" motors, rally slags, Jap drifters, exotics, pickups and many luxery cars. Also the odd construction vehicle works nicely (depends though!).
Q:You mention mucky cars in places...that's even odder isn't it?
A:Actually, it depends on the car or truck, and what muck your' on about. It's the looks of the vehicle more-especially trucks etc. However, licking mud etc isn't the thing at all. It's just how the vehicles look when they are in quite a mucky sprayed with mud state. Some women look good from a session of mudwrestling don't they? Most men liking them, don't want to lick the mud off however.
Q:You also have done boats and a jetski...how!?
A:Well, many sportcruisers and similar are a turn on, as are jetskis and motorbikes. The same tricks with humping bodywork, well, work here. A marina *can* be quite as hot as an exotics showroom at times.
Q:I have a question you haven't answered?
A:Put it down here, or better email me. On a day when I have a sense of humour I might write something funny :-).
Why? How does this work?
Imagine there is part of your brain that from infancy has the job of face, body and emotion recognition. It does it's job well, but there's a small anomaly. It sees expression and emotion in other things too. Not just cartoon characters but in machines of various kinds. Especially machines that already have some humanised features in the first place. Cars etc.
Now add the normal boyhood interest in cars, shows like Knightrider etc where a talking car is possible. There is pleasure in the thought, and a beautiful car can be seen to be alive by this particular mind. Hugging and getting close is then natural early on. Add into this the first few pleasurable sexual experiences involve a car, and you have the normal fetish process. Association.
People "see" emotion and expression in their vehicles. Add in the normal meaning-making that the brain does, and the car's actions take on significance and life, despite rational knowledge to the contrary. Even though a car is inanimate and a machine, the car-fucker still sees and feels the car as alive, and perceives emotion etc.