FAQ for clubbing newbies

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So you have never been fet/BDSM clubbing, never had your bottom spanked, would like to get to know the ins and outs of enema play or just wonder what it would be like to wear latex but don't know where to start. Just a note to say there are loads of resources in and around London and people on the scene really are welcoming. We were all as nervous and uncertain as you once.


Where to go

There are munches in London, the Docklands and Watford. There is also a ladies only munch, a women that play with women meet, a CP appreciation group. http://www.munchinfo.co.uk lists almost all the munches around the country, and you can chat to people that attend them on the various UK BDSM/Fetish discussion boards. You could also go for a coffee in Coffee, Cake and Kink and introduce yourself to friendly looking people in there or just browse their wide selection of books on all things BDSM and fetish. The cafe also host lots of different scene related events in a very chilled atmosphere. www.coffeecakeandkink.com. There are also monthly workshops organised by www.unfettered.co.uk in a kink friendly bar.

There are plentiful resources on http://www.londonfetishscene.com or the forums on http://www.unfettered.co.uk and http://www.bondage.com as well.

There is a newbie night called Unmasked (http://www.unmasked.co.uk) It is organised by the lovely MissP and is designed so you can ask as few or as many questions as you like and get to play a little with the dom/mes if you feel brave enough.

The London Fetish Fair, Birmingham Bizarre Bazaar and London Alternative Market are also a good bet cos you can remain anonymous if you like, buy some second hand latex, and some cheap -- and not so cheap -- beginner toys. Most of the stallholders can find you a demo bunny and will tell you all about how to get the most out of their stock. The fairs also hold after parties so you can chat and maybe play. See http://www.londonfetishfair.co.uk, http://www.brumbazaar.co.uk and http://www.LondonAlternativemarket.com. Oh and of course don't forget the Kinkfest in and around the country. Check out http://www.unfettered.co.uk for details.

As long as you respect the basic etiquette of the scene you will be welcome and are more likely to find a friendly face who is happy to chat than you imagine. For tips on etiquette have a look at http://www.goddess-club.co.uk/ettiquette.html. Or there are loads of excellent articles on the lifestyle here: http://mcncirce.com.

Remember to go at your own pace and that we were all newbies once. We all asked questions, made mistakes, were unsure of ourselves -- even the uber bitches. Most of all, have fun.

What to wear

Many clubs have a dress code, and you might be refusewd entry if youviolate that code.

The best thing to do is to email/phone the organiser. Explain it is your first time and you don't know what to wear. Maybe have some suggestions ready so they can yay or nay them. If you are going to Club Rub or Torture Garden you will be more likely to get through the door/fit in even if you are not strictly fetish. They are more fancy dress, burlesque, partywear orientated and if you show your creativity -- Rub has themed dresscodes -- you'll probably get in. Check out the club websites for ideas; http://www.torturegarden.com, http://www.club-rub.com, http://www.whacko.tv. Or look at the London Fetish Scene gallery and see what other clubbers are wearing.

There is also the TV option either male to female or female to male... just ask some friends to borrow their clothes ... or head to Primark, New Look etc ... you'd be surprised what you can get for a tenner. And thanks to the Goth/punk revival, there are lots of other items you can pick up in these high street stores.

For the more play orientated clubs, the cheapest option is wear as little as you feel comfortable in. The idea is that you must be genuine if you are exposing yourself. You can cover key bits with underwear or -- for 10 pounds per roll -- bondage tape/ black cling film.

Fetish markets often have at least one stall selling second hand clothing. Also try second hand shops, markets for leather trousers and skirts n stuff... Stalls in Portobello sell hides, vintage furs and all sorts of fun things to dress up in. PVC is a cheaper option than rubber and there are some nice options around. Try Westward Bound. Rubber is also available at affordable prices. Try Honour, Breathless. The cheapest option is to make your own. PVC sells in a whole range of colours for about 2.50 per metre.

One really easy and affordable option is to go in uniform. I know some subs feel that this is a bit dommely but a wren's outfit with pencil skirt or a sailor boy's outft can send out the right signal. What about a bell boy/girl? school uniform? nurse, orderly? There is a great place in the stables in Camden Market for men's uniforms -- and gas masks. Also check out Jungle (21 Earlham Street, WC2, 020 7379 5379). Check out ebay...loads of great stuff.

Accessorise with handcuffs, wrist restraints, a cane and a big smile and you'll be well away. And anyway for the first time the trick is to get in the door. Then you can meet people, check out what other people are wearing.


Don't worry about it. The first time I went I was wearing so little I thought I'd be molested in the street, never mind when I got in the club. I did actually turn around cos I was soooooopernervous...But when I got in I felt so relaxed I'd soon taken a layer off.. LOL.

See you there.

See also

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